Valley of Disgust -> Population Me.

I’m flipped out, so what better time to post a blog entry? I’m sure my mental state will lend a certain rabid Hunter Thompsonesque quality to my writing.


This photo has nothing to do with this blog entry or the current project.

I’m past the Valley of Despair with the current project, the point at which (in my husband’s words) “you’ve forgotten the beginning and you can’t see the end.” I’m now parading through the Valley of Disgust. I can see the end of the project, but I’m thoroughly disenchanted with it. It is no longer the beautiful, perfect thing I had in mind X months ago, but something which is fundamentally flawed. So flawed, in fact, that I imagine posting the equivalent of a traffic cop in front of it: “Nothing to see here. Move along.”


Like the other photo, this one also has nothing to do with this blog entry or the current project.

Of course, all of this will fade in a matter of months. At some point, I’m sure, I’ll feel downright benevolent. My mind will be on a new aggravating project rather than the current aggravating project. I’ll have forgotten all of the current irritations, including my neglecting to paint rivets on the sign so as to attach it to the sawhorse and my ridiculous delusion that I knew how to render water.


Here’s a bad photo of the current state of the project. From it, you can tell that there’s a rather wrinkled, warped surface of some kind with colors on it. Very inspiring, I’m sure.

Unfortunately, I don’t have that blissful sense of detachment right now. Maybe one isn’t meant to. Maybe passion is simply a part of creating art and sometimes that passion takes the form of disgust and annoyance.

A closeup of the sign. It shows the wood texture and reveals that there isn’t enough size/pattern contrast between the wood and the water. That is, they look too similar. I’ll have to rectify that.

Some bland facts about this project: so far, it has used around:

  • three miles of thread
  • one cup of soybeans
  • 1/4 cup kosher salt
  • seven yards of fabric
  • ink imported from pre-tsunami Japan
  • poly/wool batting derived from long-decayed dinosaurs and sheep who baaa with an Australian accent

The sign again. It’s getting closer! Watch out – it’s sneaking up on us!

One other thing on my mind today: I need a personal story, something to hang my hat on for marketing purposes. For example, Hollis Chatelain has her background as a Peace Corps volunteer in Africa, providing a wealth of experiences which she has drawn on in her artwork. Jenny Bowker has, among other things, traveled and lived in Arab and Islamic countries, thus getting acquainted with the fascinating people and places portrayed in her work.

Looking further back in time, Gauguin had his whole schtick about working as a stockbroker, seeking out a tropical paradise where he could shack up with underage females, and dying of syphilis. Poor old Van Gogh had his mental health issues and the infamous incident in which he sliced off his ear.

What do I have? Um. I dress badly and I can’t seem to work up enough interest to get a decent haircut. I’ve co-authored a number of obscure particle physics papers which didn’t have far to fall in order to reach obscurity. I can see myriad possibilities in a toilet paper tube. I have zero interest in moving to a tropical paradise and catching syphilis or slicing off my ear.

This matter is going to take some thought.

2 Responses to “Valley of Disgust -> Population Me.”

  1. kathy n says:

    I also dress badly and was supposed to get my hair cut this month (whoops). I can’t profess to any particle physics papers, though, so you’re one up on me. I think sometimes we just have to push through and bind it before we can see it for real…and sometimes, with deadlines, we just don’t even have time for that…ask me about my May 1 deadline…and I am considering the tropical paradise, minus the diseases, underage girls, and painful body mutilations…

  2. Caity says:

    Step away from the quilt, T, step away! It’s working FINE (except, I agree, the wood being too similar to the water, but hey, fixable, right?)

    Sure those people have big stories – I was thinking about this the other night too. My life is small. Very limited in what I do these days. I have no big amazing thing that I’ve done. We notice the name people because they ARE exceptions. And hello – particle physics, + staying sane and raising a boychild, and managing to make some AMAZING pieces (not least because “I can see myriad possibilities in a toilet paper tube”- that’s pretty cool! Marketing – pah, do you really want to make art about particle physics? What are you marketing for – to sell patterns? to sell quilts??